HERE COMES THE BOOM
PG
105 Minutes
Director: Frank Coraci
Writers: Kevin James, Rock Reuben, Allan Loeb
Kevin James, Henry Winkler, Salma Hayek
Cast Kevin James … Scott Boom
Salma Hayek … Bella Flores
Henry Winkler … Marty Streb
Greg Germann … Principal Betcher
Joe Rogan … Himself
People are always bad mouthing PAUL BLART. I say it doesn’t get enough credit. In the previews, it looked awful, but it’s a solid C- film. So I gave this movie a chance, and I left the theater completely devastated.
The film unfolded like an episode of KING OF QUEENS; except with the sitcom, you can hear laughter in the background.
I know this sounds like that movie WARRIOR. Unlike WARRIOR, the face of MMA, and miscellaneous douchary, Joe Rogaine…I mean Rogan, is in this one.
I used most of my UFC jokes on that WARRIOR movie. But I haven’t used those KFC jokes yet. Kevin James lost 80 pounds to play an out-of-shape, high school biology teacher.
Mr. Boom is a science teacher. A budget shortfall might end all extracurricular activities. He needs to solve this. Boom used to wrestle in high school. Naturally, he assumes entering an MMA competition would be the best way to fix this budget issue. So everyday after school, Jackie Chan gives him the martial arts training he so badly needs.
Hot For (a) Teacher
Scott is an astute character. He knows Salma Hayek is far enough past her prime, where a high school teacher could easily date her.
You got to have some contrived conflict between the romantic interest and another woman. But that never happens. HERE COMES THE BOOM is too good for such clichés, and coherent plot lines.
Henry Winkler is good, he’s always at least tolerable, even in bad films. Just once, it would be nice to see him as ‘The Fonz’ again, like an adult, Principle ‘Fonz’ that sleeps with all the female faculty members. I’m including the unattractive ones as well. Because, well, he’s just that kind of guy.
Scott’s opponent had the same entrance music: ‘HERE COMES THE BOOM’…AWK-WERD… It goes against the general etiquette practiced in the Mixed Martial Arts world. The other guy knew the song didn’t belong to him. It’s kind of like two women wearing the same dress before fighting each other in the octagon.
Who’s the Voss?
I almost forgot. His real last name isn’t Boom. It’s Voss, but does it really matter? While it’s definitely plausible, I almost forgot. His real last name isn’t Boom. It’s Voss, but does it really matter? While it’s definitely plausible, that’s really more the domain of Tyler Perry.
I’d say they intentionally tried to make a bad movie, but that would have required some forethought.
Final Verdict: 30 out of 100
