PAUL BLART: MALL COP 2
PG
94 Minutes
Director: Andy Fickman
Writers: Kevin James, Nick Bakay
CAST
Kevin James...Paul
Raini Rodriguez...Maya
Eduardo Verástegui...Eduardo Furtillo
Daniella Alonso...Divina
Neal McDonough...Vincent
'Take the money and run.'
-Steve Miller
Kevin James is at it again. No, they didn't reboot the ZOOKEEPER. This time, we get a sequel to the mall cop movie... no, the one without Seth Rogen (Seth's character is in jail for a very long time). I didn't really have a problem with the first PAUL BLART. Sure, it was dumb, but it had heart. It was a family film, but for what it was, it was fine. Now, this whole franchise feels like an adult version of HOME ALONE. One person, foiling the plans of incompetent criminals. And like HOME ALONE, we got a sequel that no one asked for.
This movie doesn't take place in a suburban, New Jersey mall. Now this time were in for a real treat. There's a security guard convention in Las Vegas. Doug...I mean Paul Blart has to prevent an evil crime lord (the villain from WALKING TALL) from stealing all the artwork at a hotel.
I always feel uncomfortable sitting in the movie theater, full of other people laughing...at things that aren't very funny. Is there any hope for humanity, if I to share the planet with these people. Forget I said that, I'm just being elitist.
Kevin James is not a completely inept comedian, or a comic actor. I kind of like his standup specials. And if I don't feel like thinking, I might turn on an episode of KING OF QUEENS. But this film is completely unacceptable. Yes, there were a few laughs and PAUL BLART 2, and I mean that literally, three laughs. I'd share them, but I don't want to spoil the movie for you.
Paul's mother gets hit by a milk truck, at the beginning. And this fact kind of gets glossed over, and made light of. I'm no prude, but getting killed by a milk truck isn't very funny. She should have gotten hit by an Oscar Myer Wiener Mobile...right in the keister. Now that's funny.
After the first movie, Kevin James lost a bit of weight. He hired a personal chef, and regularly drank kale smoothies for breakfast. So it looks like James had to gain about 50 pounds to play the role (rolls) again. Because a physically fit security guard is absolutely ludicrous. Risking your personal health for a mall cop movie is an interesting move. One day, Mr. James will find himself in a hospital bed after a heart attack, and he'll be glad he made PAUL BLART 2.
This film isn't completely irredeemable. There is a time and place to watch it. And that place is in prison, at Guantanamo Bay.
Final Verdict: 5 out of 10
Sidenote: Those dolphins on poster never actually appear in the movie