THE BOY NEXT DOOR
R
91 Minutes
Director: Rob Cohen
Writer: Barbara Curry
Jennifer Lopez, Ryan Guzman, Kristin Chenoweth
CAST
Jennifer Lopez...Claire Peterson
Ryan Guzman...Noah Sandborn
Ian Nelson...Kevin Peterson
John Corbett...Garrett Peterson
J-LO has transitioned from sex symbol to MILF. She's still pretty hot, and not even just for someone her age, but I digress. In this film, she's an English teacher who slept with a third-year senior, which happens to be her next door neighbor. Kind of like that episode of DAWSON'S CREEK, with Joshua Jackson and the English teacher, back in 1998. At least that's what my sister told me...after reading my article on the DAWSON'S CREEK Wiki page.
There is nothing redeemable about this film. I know it seems impossible, but THE BOY NEXT DOOR is much worse than I anticipated. And because of the incredibly dark subject matter, I couldn't laugh at the cheesy dialogue. After some serious consideration, I decided that you shouldn't see THE BOY NEXT DOOR. He's only ten, and I can't condone child rape, especially when that boy is mentally challenged. Shame on you for considering such a horrific act. As for the movie, THE BOY NEXT DOOR, don't see that either. Not that you have the option of actually watching it. Yeah, good luck with that. I had to watch this thing in ten-minute installments, over the course of a month. If I had to rent this at one of those video stores that used to exist, I'd have to pay 90 dollars in late fees. But it would be worth it, because I could complain about it to a human being, nay, a video store clerk. Or at least scratch up the DVD, to keep others from making the same mistake I made. But now, in the year 2015, I have no recourse. All I can do is shake my fist and shout to the heavens, figuratively speaking, in blog form.
Final Verdict: 0 out of 100