NURSE (3D) R 124 Minutes Director: Douglas Aarinoikoski Writers: Douglas Aarinoikoski, David Loughery
CAST Paz de la Huerta…Abby Russell Katrina Bowden…Danni Judd Nelson…Dr. Morris
NURSE reminds me of THE GOOD SON (1993). Where Elijah Wood tried to prove how evil Macaulay Culkin was. Sure, he looked like a nice, normal kid. But behind that carefully crafted veneer, lurked a cigarette-smoking, psychopath, trying to kill his family.
Abby Rusell kills men who cheat on their wives. Because when she was young, she caught her dad sticking it to his secretary. She slit his throat. And Abby’s mom killed herself six months later. All before getting sent to a mental institution. She killed a nurse at the mental institution, and assumed her identity. That’s where this movie starts. I know the bible says, ‘judge not, and ye shall not be judged’. But this lady seems like a real jerk.
To seduce a rich, powerful man, you got to be attractive. That’s where this character falls short. Nurse Abby is like a 5 in the looks department, and I’m being generous. She’s about as handsome as Patrick Swayze in TO WONG FU THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
From a purely rational perspective, if you really want to punish no-good, cheatin’ men. It would be easier to give them AIDS. It can be done, she’s a resourceful nurse. The evil men would suffer greatly, for a longer period of time. And she would be long gone, before anyone noticed anything amiss. But she lets her impulses interfere with her long term objectives. Abby is far too impulsive, and shortsighted to be a decent serial killer.
The best character is Judd Nelson. He’s a playboy, A-List actor…I mean doctor. And surprise, surprise, he’s sleazy. Even though this man has a wife and kids, he routinely harasses the young nurses. Saying things like, ‘you’ll fit in perfectly here’, as he stands directly behind a new nurse. A guy like this, he’ll definitely be spared in Abby’s rampage of justice.
This film ain’t all bad. There are a lot of good looking, naked people walking around. Even in places where it wouldn’t make sense. But there is not nearly enough nudity to compensate for the shortcomings of this movie.
In parts, NURSE is bad enough to be funny. The acting is awful. Like SHOWGIRLS awful. The so-bad-it’s-good thing isn’t sustained for the entire movie though. So I recommend renting this movie, but be sure to keep your finger near the fast forward button.
Final Verdict: 50 out of 100