Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son

by Edward Dunn


Big Momma’s House Like Father Like Son
Martin Lawerance
PG-13
100 minutes
Director: John Whitesell

'You're once, twice, three times a lady.'    -Lionel Richie

“Third time's a charm”, is a popular American expression. It is rarely the case in movies. The third installment of The Godfather is nothing less than a complete abortion, comparatively speaking. Who would think that a cinematic gem like, Big Momma’s House, would spawn two further sequels.

I grew up watching Martin play ‘Sheneneh’ on television.  It’s well within the grasp of  Martin Lawrence to at least make the character of ‘Big Momma’ funny. Even if the movie isn’t all that good.

All of that is ancient history. Since the late 1990’s I have been....well I’d say disappointed, but I didn’t really expect him to make good movies. Unimpressed would be a more appropriate term.

I bought my first DVD player in the year 2000. Big Momma’s House was the first DVD that I bought. This is where I learned that superior image quality does not make a movie better. That is why I watched the latest installment of Big Momma’s House on the Internet.

Most bad movies don’t make money, and they don’t make sequels (or squeakquels). The Big Mama’s House travesty trilogy has made hundreds of millions of dollars. They are a few of the worst movies ever made.

A comparable example, The Santa Clause. They made three Santa Clause movies. About eight years ago, I took a long train ride. The Santa Clause 2 was playing on a constant loop. I literally, watched that movie eight times. I know I didn’t have to, but I didn’t really bring a book or anything. You’ll have to forgive me for going off on a tangent there.

The first two Big Momma’s House movies weren’t all that great. So what was I expecting? I was expecting a movie that was so bad, that was good. A film that didn’t take itself too seriously. I wanted a complete farce, with some unintentional satire. A movie as ridiculous as Black Knight. This movie is just plain awful...lly funny. Just kiddingit was terrible.

My bad, I just went on long diatribe there. I forgot to tell you about the movie’s plot. That’s probably because the writers of this movie forgot to include one. This is the absolute worst movie you are going watch in 2011.

Final Verdict: 20 out of 100


PS: I’m sick of watching bad movies. That’s why I’m going to be watching Drive Angry in 3D next.