SMALL SOLDIERS (1998)
PG-13
110 Minutes
Director: Joe Dante
Writers: Gavin Scott, Adam Rifkin, Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio
Kirsten Dunst, Gregory Smith, David Cross
David Cross–Irwin Wayfair
Gregory Smith–Alan Abernathy
Kirsten Dunst–Christy Fimple
Phil Hartman–Phil Fimple
SMALL SOLDIERS
Why it's not as bad as you think
An Essay By E. Dunn
SMALL SOLDIERS is one of those films that if you didn’t see it at a movie theater, you probably never bothered renting it on video. This movie never really got it’s due. Because it wasn’t the movie people were expecting. Also, releasing it two weeks before SAVING PRIVATE RYAN didn’t help much. In film, war is something to be glorified; not something to be thoughtfully examined.
I watched SMALL SOLDIERS on my 14th birthday. I had the Burger King toys. And I bought the soundtrack, even though most of those songs weren’t even in the movie. I like the way Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony re’hash’ed Edwin Starr’s WAR; that is one crunchy, stone grove. The marketing was out of control. Just look at that image at the top of the page. I don’t recall any karate fighting in the movie, yet we have the ‘Rock’em Sock’em Robots’ knock off, ‘Karate Fighters’.
Things That Made The Film Watchable
Those involved thought this project was a good idea. They brought in the animatronics guy from JURASSIC PARK.
Tommy Lee Jones, and the original ‘DIRTY DOZEN’ did the Commando Elite. The Gorgonites were done mostly by members of Spinal Tap.
This movie had plenty of shortcomings. Mostly with the live-action parts. I could have lived without the prepubescent romance between Christy (Dunst) and Alan (Smith). Oh man, Alan is in for a rude awakening when he finds out Dunst’s character doesn’t really go for dorky, Peter Parker-esque-type characters.
There Are Many Questions:
- What does destiny mean?
- Did the technology for self-aware action figures exist in 1998?
- When do they run out of batteries?
The Eternal Battle Between Good And Evil
When I did intramural softball in middle school, I was the team captain. On the first day, without consulting my teammates, I came up with ‘The Freaks’, as our team name, and we weren’t very good. So I could relate to the plight of the Gorgonites. I have a soft spot in my heart for those who aren’t good at doing things.
The Commando Elite fought the Gorgonites. And like the Detroit Lions, Gorgonites are programmed to lose. Eventually, they will go on to question this programming. These intelligent creatures teach us that many great things are accomplished with nonviolent resistance. But they also know that some conflicts can’t be resolved peacefully. Hence Archer’s bow and arrow.
Conclusion
I have mixed feelings on SMALL SOLDIERS. The title isn’t misleading, that’s a plus. But the more interesting characters don’t get enough screen time. While it doesn’t quite reach the level of greatness; it’s more than a grenade’s throw away from awful.
Final Verdict: 76 out of 100
