AMERICAN SNIPER
R
132 Minutes
Director: Clint Eastwood
Writers: Jason Hall, Chris Kyle, Scott McEwen, James Defelice
Bradley Cooper, Kyle Gallner, Ben Reed, Elise Robertson
CAST
Bradley Cooper...Chris Kyle
Ben Reed...Wayne Kyle
Elise Robertson...Debbie Kyle
Since childhood, Chris Kyle was a sniper of impeccable accuracy. So when September 11th hit, he knew it was time to put his talents to use. That's right, Chris Kyle is going with Fred Savage and Jenny Lewis to a Duck Hunt competition in California. They don't have a lot of money, so they have to hustle random strangers at convenience stores...that have Duck Hunt. I'm kidding though, AMERICAN SNIPER isn't that much fun. No this film is about a killer who hunts homeless people for sport.
The Reel Story
At the age of 30, Chris Kyle becomes a Navy Seal. He fights for our freedom, over in Iraq. From here, everything unfolds as you would expect. Except the ending, there isn't one.
I want to see a film where Chris Kyle goes all RAMBO on us. He'd be unstoppable, Brian Dennehy would go berserk. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking about a live action movie version of the Atari game, BERSERK. Dennehy would dress up in a giant smiley face costume to play 'Evil Otto'. Oh, I got another one: Chris Kyle plays a pioneer in OREGON TRAIL...THE MOVIE. His character dies early on, because muskets aren't very accurate. Catching dysentery didn't help either. It severely weakens him, and he couldn't put up much of a fight when he got mauled by that pack of mutant timberwolves.
This movie isn't very good, and everyone is pretending it is. Am I the only one with the audacity to fuck with a navy seal. Just because a movie has a war hero, doesn't make it good. Remember that fake movie in the middle of INGLORIOUS BASTERDS...well ...it was actually pretty good, but that's the exception that proves the rule. I suppose Nazi propaganda is difficult to mess up.
Of this year's Oscar nominees, AMERICAN SNIPER is the worst. If there was a category for best sniper film, I'd give it to Wesley Snipes in EXPENDABLES 3, for his precision knife-throwing 'sniping'. AMERICAN SNIPER gets second prize in my category.
Should I (I Meaning You, The Reader) See This Film?
First, Iraq War veterans steer clear, you've seen this one already. Secondly, Bradley Cooper fans shouldn't see this. Unfortunately, in AMERICAN SNIPER he plays someone else who isn't Bradley Cooper. And lastly, if you like first-person shooters, visit a meadow somewhere, and put some AMERICAN SNIPER DVDs in a clay pigeon thrower. Grab your rifle, and shoot some DVDs. If you miss your target, no biggie, I'm sure one of those discs will kill a bird. Can't feel too bad about delicious collateral damage.
Final Verdict: 50 out of 100