LICENSE TO DRIVE (1988)
88 Minutes
PG-13
Director: Greg Beeman
Writer: Neil Tolkin
Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, Carol Kane
Cast
Corey Feldman…Dean
Corey Haim…Les Anderson
Carol Kane…Mrs. Anderson
Richard Masur…Mr. Anderson
Heather Graham… Mercedes
Baby you can drive my car
And maybe I’ll love you
-The Beatles, DRIVE MY CAR
Celebrity in Profile: Corey Haim
This is the first of a 12 part series on Corey Haim. First, DEMOLITION HIGH (1996), co-starring Alan Thicke. And second, ME, MYSELF AND I (1989), a day-in-the-life movie, where all he does is practice basketball, hockey, and baseball…while looking awesome. I’m only kidding, not about those titles, those do actually exist, but I can’t watch 12 Corey Haim films. One will suffice.
1988 was a hell of a year. Rick Astley released TOGETHER FORVER. Reagan was showing early symptoms of Alzheimer’s in his last year of office. Dukakis had the tank thing. And I almost forgot: LICENSE TO DRIVE was released. I chose to review this movie, because career-wise, and life-wise, this is when the Coreys reached their peak.
The movie poster looks cool with its Cruisin’ USA graphics, and the sunglasses. But does it win the race? At the track, it starts out in pole position. As a relatively entertaining, adolescent fantasy: like being left home alone, or hitchhiking to get to a Super Mario Brothers competition. But on the last stretch of the race, this vehicle plows into a farmer’s market, full of make-a-wish children.
Corey #2 fails his driving test, the only problem is he already told Heather Graham they were going out this weekend. And she’s like the hottest girl at school. His only option is to lie about passing the driving exam. From there, he’ll go joyriding in the family car. All without his folks noticing anything’s amiss. Disregard that she’s only trying to make her ex jealous. Also, I should note that there is no way this Les character will get beyond his one pity date, at least not with the car he has now.
I have a soft spot in my heart for a kid like this. I failed my driving test three times. After the third fail, I don’t know what happened, some say a DOL employee’s heart grew three sizes that day, to that of half of a human, and on my fourth attempt, they gave me that easiest test administrator in the state. I didn’t just pass, I received a 92.
Favorite Scene:
Corey Feldman taking booby Polaroids of a passed out, drunk girl in the back seat of a Cadillac. She’s placed in the trunk, moments later.
The film you describe sounds cool. But I don’t want to hear any Billy Ocean songs. What should I do?
After watching the trailer, you may wonder how to avoid hearing Billy Ocean’s GET INTO MY CAR. But don’t fret, just follow my instructions. In the DVD setup menu, hit languages, then hit Spanish. As it turns out, the Spanish dub has a completely different soundtrack. But this will only work if you understand Spanish.
Final Verdict: 15 out of 1000
No, that was a typo. Still, it’s really bad.
Final Verdict: 15 out of 100
