GROWN UPS II
PG-13
111 Minutes
Director: Dennis Dugan
Writers: Fred Wolf, Adam Sandler
Adam Sandler, Salma Hayek, Kevin James, Kurt McKenzie
Cast
Adam Sandler…Lenny Feder
Salma Hayek…Roxanne Chase-Feder
Kevin James…Eric Lamonsoff
Chris Rock…Kurt McKenzie
The deeper we fall
The stronger we stay
And we’ll be better
The second time around
STEP BY STEP (THEME SONG)
BILLY MADISON PART VII
Walking into this, I knew, the second movie would be better than the first GROWN UPS. Because movie ratings don’t go less than zero.
GROWN UPS (1) made so much money, Adam Sandler gave Maseratis to the main cast members, and he still had enough money left over to make a sequel.
BEDTIME STORIES
The main plot, from what I could tell. The old guys, and a local fraternity are at war. Over a swimming quarry, and who it belongs to. The Alpha Betas are the whitest, waspiest, college guys ever. And the grand finale involves a battle between the two groups.
Nick Swardson, star of the worst movie ever made, BUCKY LARSON, replaces, Rob Schneider in GROWN UPS II. He plays a burnout bus driver (think ‘Auto’ from THE SIMPSONS) with complete perfection.
Let’s move on to a man who’s made the second worst movie of all time. Former NBA baller, and basketball player, Shaquille ‘The Shamrock’ O’Neil. In Miami, he’s banned from lawn enforcement, not for making KAZAAM, but for using foul language in a freestyle rap…while drunk at a concert. Which is interesting, since the ‘man of steel’ released five profanity-laced, studio albums before becoming a police officer. Anyway, the rap was about Kobe. O’Neil should get a free pass; or does the Miami Beach Sheriff think that raping hotel employees is cool? But I digress. O’Neil’s desire to implement the law is still intact. In GROWN UPS II, he plays a cop, who isn’t too keen on law and order. Shaq is kind of funny in this role, which is more than I can say about most of the cast.
The blonde kid from HARRY POTTER is at it again. Here, he runs a summer camp for special needs kids…No, I’m joking, he’s playing a dooshy frat guy. And that’s the type of guy he will play, forever. That is, unless Macaulay Culkin dies during the filming of HOME ALONE 10: LOST IN THE NURSING HOME. In which case, he would make a suitable replacement.
GROWN UPS DRIVER
‘We’re irrelevant, we’re losers. You saw the way those frat guys treated us.’
What’s most upsetting is the waste of comedic talent. Except for David Spade, all these comedians are capable of much more, hilarity.
Now we get a second movie that no one asked for. No wait, that’s wrong, many people wanted this sequel. Not me though, I thought a sub-par sequel might tarnish the legacy of the GROWN UPS franchise. But I was wrong: GROWN UPS II surpassed my expectations.
Final Verdict: 28 out of 100
Sidenote: Stayed tuned for a retro review of BLIND FURY.
