THE RINGER (2005)
PG-13
94 minutes
Director: Barry W. Blaustein
Writer: Ricky Blitt
Johnny Knoxville, Brian Cox, Katherine Heigl
Cast
Johnny Knoxville ... Steve Barker
Brian Cox...Gary Barker
Katherine Heigl...Lynn Sheridan
Jed Rees...Glen
O-bla-di, o-bla-da, life goes on, brah!...
Lala how the life goes on.
THE BEATLES, LIFE GOES ON (THEME)
As a tenth-grader, in my English class, we had a short written assignment, answering a question: Do you think saying 'that's retarded' is offensive, and why? My response, no, I don't think retards are capable of being offended. In retrospect, I recognize how hilarious, and insensitive my remarks were. Maybe I was just releasing pent-up rage, because that kid in middle school called me 'Special Ed'.
I saw this at a theatre, but recently, THE RINGER aired on Comedy Central. It was something I had completely forgot about. After my second viewing" I realized that I have to criticize this film now, before people forget about it altogether. Kind of like the Nuremberg trials.
Johnny Knoxville hasn't declared himself a serious actor, by words or action. So I can't judge him on the same scale as Sean Penn. Of all the MTV actors, Johnny Knoxville has fared better than everyone. Except, well... no, Pauly Shore doesn't count as human being. Knoxville has a couple of things going for him. One, when you squint, he looks a little like Joaquin Phoenix. Two, if he ever puts on weight, he'd be indistinguishable from Jim Brewer. THE RINGER isn't Knoxville's worst movie. That award goes to GRAND THEFT PARSONS (2004). But this might be his most memorable role.
There are many problems with THE RINGER. I can't list all of them, this is an article, not the ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA. I am going to examine a few of these problems though.
- The premise isn't plausible. You would need a doctor's help to fake any sort of mental handicap.
- The pretty, blonde Special Olympics coördinator has a dooshy, cliché boyfriend. You know he's bad news, because he pushes kids off the monkey bars at the park, while laughing maniacally. In the middle of the movie, this guy gets caught making out with a hostess from Applebee's. It just doesn't add up. Why would a 'bad guy' cheat on his girlfriend?
- I don't think a bookie would take bets on the Special Olympics. Not because it's immoral, or unethical. Mostly, because the competition might easily be fixed.
The Finish Line
To be fair, THE RINGER accurately depicts mentally handicapped people. With one big exception: 'Jeffey Dahmer'. But if you really want to watch a grown man go 'full-on retard' for two hours, CORKY ROMANO would be a better option.
Final Verdict: 21 out of 100
