Fast Five
PG-13
130 minutes
Director: Justin Lin
Writers: Chris Morgan, Gary Scott Thompson (characters)
Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Matt Schulze, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot
'Chances are sooner or later, we are gonna end up behind bars or buried in a ditch soon. But not today.'
- Dominic Toretto
Ladies and gentleman, start your engines, and turn off your brain:
for the summer movie season is upon us.
Main Characters
Hobbs 
Sporting a black mesh shirt, along with grease covering his entire body.
Outside of this film, he definitely has a place on the cover of Men’s Health.
The quintessential, 21st century action star, possessing that rare trait—universal likability: not unlike that of Tom Hanks or Will Smith. Wrestler, writer, actor, philanthropist and comedian: a true renascence man. This man attempts to breathe fresh life into a decaying franchise.
Dwayne Johnson brought his A-game. It seemed like he is the only actor who didn’t show up hung over.
Did his presence make the movie better?
You bet your candy-ass, it did.
Dominic Toretto 
Vin Diesel has seen better days.
Boy, did he did prove me wrong. I thought you had to be born with Down Syndrome. As it turns out, it can spontaneously occur at any point in one’s adult life.
Brian O’Conner
I couldn’t think of anything clever to put here.
Mia on the left (Dom’s sister).That’s right, Brian and Mia are
going out. That’s not all, but I don’t want to
spoil anything.
Reyes
You don’t really know why you hate this one-dimensional villain, but you do.
Gisele Harabo
This character is completely
necessary. Like, Megan Fox
in Transformers.
Everyone in the gang. Which also includes: Roman (Gibson), Tej (Ludacris), Vince (Schulze), Han (Kang), and Leo (Calderon).
Fast Five takes place in Rio de Janeiro.
Bad things seem to happen in South America (With the notable exception of Pablo Neruda's poetry).
Films that take place in South America
Medicine Man (1992)-Sean Connery finds a cure for cancer. A bulldozer catches fire, many acres of rain forest disappear. No more cure for cancer.
Scarface (1983)-Tony Montana is negotiating a drug deal in Bolivia. Omar Suarez get pushed out of a helicopter, dangling by a noose.
Rio (2011)- A socially awkward, baby bird is captured by smugglers.
One final mission. Does this sound familiar?
Many other movies start with this premise.
Close to fifty-percent, by my count.
I expected a ridiculous movie, and I got one.
But this movie goes beyond merely ridiculous.
The action sequences were entertaining.
It was just difficult, ignoring idiotic dialogue.
Fans of the franchise, will enjoy this film. As far as
anyone else—watch the movie when you are
drunk.
Final Verdict: 70 out of 100
