Jack and Jill

by Edward Dunn


 

JACK AND JILL
91 Minutes
Director: Dennis Dugan
Writers: Adam Sandler, Steve Koren
Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes and Al Pacino
 
Oh, foe and cursed thing! What demon from the depths of hell created thee?
 
-Homer Simpson
 
 

Nick Cage and Adam Sandler are having a contest of whom can make the most bad movies..

Sandler is slightly ahead in this race. There is a difference between the two. Nicolas Cage has major tax problems; he does not want to make bad movies, he just has to. Adam Sandler has too much money and too much time, his movies just keep getting worse. 
 
I crapped all over JUST GO WITH IT. Could this movie be worse than that one? Yes, I know that sounds impossible; like finding a temperature below absolute zero. 
 
Jetson's Meet the Flintstones
, taking two bad things, and making something much, much worse. This movie is a strange combination of WHITE CHICKS and MRS. DOUBTFIRE.  
 
Every joke was about how ugly and stupid his sister was; we get it already (like 'Sheneneh' on Martin).  
 
It's one thing to make a bad movie, it is quite another to tarnish the good name of Al Pacino (the actor-not the character from TROPIC THUINDER).
 
How did he get tricked into making this 'movie'. I suspect black male. Al Pacino killed a family member, had sex with the corpse, before torching their residence with molotov cocktails—all so he could collect the insurance money. The insurance money is used to cover up a previous, more heinous crime. That's it, there is no other explanation.
 
 
Final Verdict: Guilty 15 out of 100

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Sidenote: In JACK AND JILL Jill kind of looks like BLOSSOM (Mayim Bialik), huh?, maybe it's just me.




The Zookeeper

by Edward Dunn


The first edition of: “hey that wasn’t as crappy as thought it was gonna be.”

The more a movie is promoted, the less likely it is to be good. This movie was promoted during the NBA Finals, during every commercial break, about a month before its release date.  Kevin James was on every late night show (cable and network TV).  It took me a month to watch this entire movie. You would see previews for Mr. Popper’s penguins, and think “wow, that Zookeeper movie doesn’t look as bad as Mr. Poppers Penguins”.

Some of you may be wondering why this is rated PG, as opposed to G. I could be wrong, but I think it’s the interracial romance Griffin (James) and Kate (Dawson); the MPAA does not look too kindly on this sort of thing.

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