The Hunger Games

THE HUNGER GAMES

PG-13

144 Minutes

Director: Gary Ross

Writers: Gary Ross, Suzanne Collins, Billy Ray

Jennifer Lawerence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Stanley Tucci

The best movie featuring Ice-T and Gary Busey.                                    

CAST

Jennifer Lawrence--Katniss Everdeen

Willow Shields--Primrose Everdeen

Josh Hutcherson--Peeta Mellark

Liam Hemsworth--Gale Hawthorne

Stanley Tucci--Caesar Flickerman

Wes Bentley--Seneca Crane

Elizabeth Banks--Effie Trinket

Woody Harrelson--Haymitch Abernathy 

'With these hungry eyes. One look at you and I can't disguise. I've got hungry eyes. I feel the magic between you and I.'                                              -HUNGRY EYES, by Eric Carmen

'In penance for there uprising, each district shall offer up a male and a female between the ages of 12 and 18 at a public reaping.'

There are 12 districts, and only one individual lives.  A negative raffle of sorts; reminiscent of THE LOTTERY, by Shirley Jackson. Her younger sister, Primrose (Shields) got selected, but Lawrence volunteered instead.

In the country of 'Panem', which includes all North America. The largest, wealthiest, most powerful city in the entire world is named: 'The Capitol'. Yes, that is the official city name. The writers must have pulled an 'all-nighter' coming up with that one.

I'm not sure what year this is supposed to be; for all I know it could be from the past. Perhaps it's the lost civilization of Atlantis.

The inhabitants of 'The Capitol' look like extras from a Katie Perry video. Except, no one shooting with whipped cream out of their tits.

Haymitch Abernathy (Harrelson) won the games may years ago, he serves as Primrose's mentor. Woody Harrelson is always playing a burnout. It's like Jeremy Piven, he's always playing a dick...with bad hair plugs.

There's a bee hive.

So?

Stand back.

Are you crazy? You'll get stung!

-MY GIRL (1991)

That scene from MY GIRL, whereMacaulay Culkin dies (spoiler alert). They take that scene and make it much deadlier. Except in this movie, it's used as weapon to kill people on purpose. 

When the games are going on, the movie is entertaining. Which is about 35% of the film. Jennifer Lawrence's carries most of that 35 percent. 

This movie raises many 'Why' questions.

Namely:

• What planet do they live on?

• Are they in a separate, parallel universe?

• Is this parallel universe based on junk science?

• Would people really tolerate this sort of thing?

• How does their economy function?

• What was the point of all this?

THE TRUMAN SHOW, SURVIVOR, RAMBO, and JERSEY SHORE. THE HUNGER GAMES combines all of these things. Which sounds much cooler than it actually is. Stream this on Netflix, when you're hungover...and you don't have anything better to watch.

Final Verdict: 70 out of 100

Real Steel

REAL STEEL
127 minutes
PG-13
Writers: Writers: John Gatins, Dan Gilroy
Director: Shawn Levyr
Hugh Jackman, Evangeline Lilly, Dakota Goyo

The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain.  In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots.  And as you go forth today remember always your duty is clear:  To build and maintain those robots.  Thank you. - -Military School Commandant's Graduation Address, THE SIMPSONS, The Secret War of Lisa Simpson

 Crush! Kill! Destroy!

BATTLEBOTS aired for five seasons, a show aptly suited for Comedy Central—the show was a complete joke. Robots fighting one another: sounds like Transformers. It is not assure you, this isn't similar to any of TRANSFORMER movies. If anything, I would put it into the same category as those SHORT CIRCUIT movies.

Up and Atom!

The year is 2020, we see one thing clearly: boxing kills brain cells, so fighting (with gloves) is illegal.  In this future, man and machine bond in an almost metaphysical way; a bond that transcends the confines of flesh and blood. It's called robot boxing: it's like combining Nascar, Dance Dance Revolution, and the World of Warcraft. Hmmm...you know, I can kind of see what the appeal would be.

Max Kenton (Goyo) is eleven years old, he reminds me of a young Annakin Skywalker . Charlie Kenton (Jackman), absentee father, down on his luck. Deep down, he really wants to rekindle his relationship with his son.

Max challenges WRB champion, Zeus, designed by Tak Mashido (Yune): 'I challenge Zeus to a fight anytime any place anywhere, you name it, we'll be there.'
 
The final battle is between Zeus and Atom. Fighting Zeus, that would make him a modern-day Prometheus figure (where's Hercules when you need him?)...yeah, that was a dork joke.

Bailey Tallet (Evangeline Lilly) runs the boxing gym of her late father. She is an unnecessary character; I found her enthusiasm for robot boxing to be somewhat questionable. Since Lost, Evangeline Lilly (aka, Kate or Freckles) has only done shampoo commercials. It was good to see her back again, definitely a step up from those commercials.

This movie is remarkably similar to OVER THE TOP (1987). Sure they changed a few key details, no arm wrestling, truck driving, a few characters. The mother dies, troubled relationship with father, the national championship. It's like there is a book called, 'Making Unoriginal Movies...the Lazy Way'; except STALLONE read the book-on-tape first.

   1. "Do you really think you can make up for ten years in 2 to 3 days?"
   2. "He's staying with me! You tell him that! You tell him!"
   3. "I wanted you to fight for me that's all I ever wanted. "

Which of these quotes is from OVER THE TOP, and which is from REAL STEEL? Check the bottom of my review, the answers may surprise you.

This film has many flaws, but mainly, I just didn't care about any of the characters. I suppose that is almost expected in a movie about robots.

If you would like to see a film about robot fighting; I would suggest TERMINATOR II: JUDGEMENT DAY. From what I hear, it's a real snooze-fest.

Shawn Levy, the director of this film, has not made anything great since the TV series, THE SECRET WORLD OF ALEX MACK(1996).

A family film, and a popcorn flick. REAL STEAL is reel-to-reel goodness, a movie the entire family can tolerate.  Yes, REAL STEEL is a real steal; after viewing it, you'll demand your money back

Final Verdict: 65 out of 100

Quiz Answers

   1. Do you really think you can make up for ten years in 2 to 3 days? OVER THE TOP
   2. He's staying with me! You tell him that! You tell him!" REAL STEEL
   3. I wanted you to fight for me that's all I ever wanted. " REAL STEEL