A Thousand Words

by Edward Dunn

A THOUSAND WORDS
PG-13
91 Minutes
Director: Brian Robbins
Writer:Steve Koren
Eddie Murphy,Cliff Curtis, Kerry Washington, Clark Duke

Cast
Eddie Murphy Jack McCall
Cliff Curtis Dr. Sinja
Kerry Washington Caroline Mc..
Clark Duke Aaron Wiseberger


A brief departure from his regular gig at Universal Studios'You know, making a movie is a collaborative effort and sometimes all the ingredients don't work out. I know that every now and again I am going to make a movie that won't work.'
-Eddie Murphy


Make like Ryan Leaf and steal some Percocet



After lying to an Indian guru, to get him to sign a book deal. Literary agent, Jack McCoc finds a Bodhi tree in his back yard. There are one-thousand leaves on this tree. A leaf falls every time Jack speaks a word. He dies if all the leaves fall off the tree.What this movie tries to illustrate most is that the words we speak have consequences.


Normally, you would expect Steve Carell or Jim Carey to play Jack McCall. And Morgan Freeman would play the new-age guru. I suppose they had better things to do.




Jack cannot speak for three days. As you can guess, this makes for some awkward business and social interactions. There is no writing words, but he can play charades with people. No one understands the predicament he's in; concise communication is of the utmost importance.





Personally, I would get one of those Stephen Hawking voice dealies. But that's against the rules. So he can't communicate in English, via his mouth or his hands. Oh, he can talk to animals, but Dr. Doolittle is curiously absent from this adventure. What he ends up doing is using talking action figures to make important conference calls with business clients.






D.J. Be good or you can't watch Howdy Doody

Jack's mother has dementia. His mother frequently confuses him with his deceased father. Comedically, this doesn’t work. Mostly because Eddie Murphy doesn’t play the role of his mother. Unfortunately, all we’re left with is a sad situation.





John Witherspoon usually serves as a vehicle for fart jokes, but here he plays a blind guy crossing the street... oh, and he almost gets hit.

Recently, I reviewed Tower Heist, Eddie was good in this. Furthermore, if we go back a little further to 2006, he plays James 'Thunder' Early in Dreamgirls. 'Member that part where he starts talking off his clothes on live television...that was awesome.

Jimmy want a piece of your chocolate cake

But more than all that Jimmy wants a break

'Cause Jimmy got soul, Jimmy got soul

Granted, it's not, Imagine That (2009), or The Haunted Mansion (2003).

Children make a wish, it’s a falling star

My critics might say that making fun of Eddie Murphy movies is too easy. And to that, I say: you are absolutely correct.

Final Verdict: 20 out of 100


‘It's not the first hooker I've helped out. I've seen hookers on corners and I'll pull over and they'll go, 'Oh you're Eddie Murphy, oh my God,' and I'll empty my wallet out to help.’




Tower Heist

by Edward Dunn

TOWER HEIST
PG-13
106 minutes
Director: Brett Ratner
Writers: Ted Griffin, Jeff Nathanson, Bill Collage, Adam Cooper
Ben Stiller,  Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Dwight 'Heavy D' Myers

Cast

  • Josh is the building manager (Stiller).
  • Charlie, concierge and Josh's brother-in-law (Affleck).
  • Enrique Dev'reaux, a new bellhop (Peña).
  • The Slide, master criminal (Eddie Murphy).
  • Bankrupt businessperson, Mr. Fitzhugh (Broderick).
  • FBI agent, Claire Denham (Leoni, ex-wife of Special Agent Mulder).

This film was the brainchild of Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller. Walking into this movie, I figured it might be an apology for have stolen so much of my time and money; you know, with those NORBIT and MEET THE PARENTS movies.

Arthur Shaw (Alda), stole his employees money, 'Bernie Madoff style', in a Ponzi scheme. This movie centers on steeling millions of dollars from this evil guy. Alan Alda is an actor with a lot of range. He can make fun of himself; like in 30 ROCK, he plays Jack Donaghy's biological father, a liberal college professor from Vermont. Or he can play a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, convincingly.

In TOWER HEIST, Eddie Murphy has flashes of brilliance. The likes of which we have not seen since he uttered the phrase, 'you people are rednecks'. I look forward to seeing him in future projects. Right now, I think he concerned with the legacy he'll leave behind.

On a related note...

Eddie Murphy was going to host the Oscars. That is, until this Brett Ratner controversy occurred. Yes, it's true, the Academy discovered that Brett Ratner has never made anything worth watching. Billy Crystal is the new host of the Oscars.

“Am doing the Oscars so the young woman in the pharmacy will stop asking my name when I pick up my prescriptions,” (rim shot).
-Crystal, 63, a Twat on his Twitter account.

TOWER HEIST has its momemts, but it's just not worth watching. If I had to pick a movie most similar to this one, I'd choose FUN WITH DICK JANE (2005). They both feature comedians who are past their prime.

Final Verdict: 69 out of 100


Sidenote: Dwight 'Heavy D' Myer had a brief cameo in TOWER HEIST.  Strangely enough, he died they day I watched this movie. May the 'Overweight Lover' rest in peace.