Jurassic Park (3D) (1993)

JURASSIC PARK (3D) (1993)
127 Minutes
PG-13
Director: Steven Spielberg
Writer: Michael Crichton
Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Golblum, Samuel L. Jackson

Cast
Sam Neill-Dr. Alan Grant
Laura Dern-Dr. Ellie Sattler
Jeff Goldblum-Dr. Ian Malcolm
Richard Attenborough-John Hammond
Samuel L. Jackson-Ray Arnold
Martin Ferrero-Donald Gennaro

‘Well, sir, I won’t bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, but we desperately need a real emergency exit.’
-(Charlie) THE SIMPSONS, EP. 1F07

It’s been 20 years since this movie played in a theater. I went back to the place where I saw it as a child. But that’s a TJ Maxx now. General Cinemas doesn’t exist either. But I made the 1-block trek across the parking lot and saw it at a new theater.

I tried reading JURASSIC PARK, the book, as a kid. Not the one by Michael Crichton. The one with all the pictures, based on the movie. If memory serves, I don’t believe I ever finished that.

I won’t explain the plot in great detail. Because we’ve all seen the movie multiple times. It had a 9 month theatrical release. Plus, you know what you’re getting, with the movie title.

There are a some things I never noticed, watching this movie as a kid. The first, Samuel L Jackson. All I saw him do is smoke cigarettes, I don’t understand how one character can smoke all the time, especially if he’s in a science lab. Secondly, as an adult, I now recognize that Alan and Ellie really are ready to have children of their own. And lastly, There is one scene that just infuriates me. Toward the end, where the kids are eating Jello. Really? Jello that was sitting in the sun all day, on a table, in the South Pacific. I’m no Bill Cosby, but I think that Jello would have melted long before they got there.

Was it worth $14.00 dollars?

Why, back in my day, $14.00 dollars was a lot of money. It bought 2 movie tickets, and no money for concessions. Like the Weird Al album, 3D didn’t do much for me. More than anything, this was a marketing gimmick. Which I’m fine with. It means JURASSIC PARK 4 is actually getting made; due in June of 2014. There’s no bad CGI, JURASSIC PARK remains a very watchable movie. So yes, you should absolutely see this timeless classic.

Final Verdict: 90 out of 100

Django Unchained

DJANGO UNCHAINED
R
165 Minutes
Director: Quintin Tarantino
Writer: Alan Thicke
Samuel L. Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio

'Southern Man when will you pay them back'
-Neil Young

Reach for the sky, Honky!Cast
Jamie Foxx--Django
Christoph Waltz--Dr. King Schultz
Leonardo DiCaprio--Calvin Candie
Samuel L. Jackson--Steven

DJANGO UNCHAINED takes place in 1858, Greenville, Mississippi. Put that map away, and let me save everyone a bit of time: Mississippi is the state between Louisiana and Alabama.
 
DJANGO pays homage to many films, genres and characters. Which means much of this movie may already be familiar to you. Now, to elaborate on this further.
 
The title, and the bare-bones of the story, come from a few bizarre spaghetti-westerns. The titled  character, Django, is trying to rescue his estranged wife from a slave owner. This is done with extreme prejudice.  
 
Django is like Will Smith, in WILD WILD WEST; the black guy on WALKER TEXAS RANGER, and that character from BLAZING SADDLES... Gene Wilder.
 
Leonardo DiCaprio' character, the plantation owner, is based on Ted Turner, and 'Foghorn Leghorn'.

Sam Jackson's character, Steve, is part 'Uncle Ruckus, from THE BOONDOCKS. Part 'Uncle Ben'.

This Movie Is Off The Chain

In historical movies, there is usually is some white-washing of the past, it's inevitable, we live by different standards today. People forget what slavery was actually like. It wasn't just picking cotton in the fields. There were carnival rides, bouncy castles, clowns, candied apples, and daisy chains of joyful laughter. This movie is historically accurate (in some respects), and entertaining as hell, which is a difficult feat to carry out. This isn't just escapist fun: it's 'escapist' fun, for the characters.
 
I'm writing this as Tarantino accepts his Golden Globe for Best Screenplay. Well, since the Academy doesn't make a ton of mistakes... Oh, what's that? the Foreign Press Association does the Globes. Didn't they nominate THE TOURIST, a couple years ago. Nonetheless, they got it right, if only by coincidence.
 
Hmmmm, you might want to wait for the Oscars.
 
Final Verdict: 98 out 100  
Sidenote: I subtracted a couple of points, because Kurt Russell was supposed to be in this (to replace Kevin Costner). I just know he would've been perfect for the roll of 'plantation thug'. Without him, this movie falls just short of perfection.